Oryginalna treść piosenki.

Sixteen Saltines

She's got stickers on her locker
And the boy's number's there in magic marker
I'm hungry and the hunger will linger
I eat sixteen saltine crackers then I lick my fingers

Well every morning I deliver the news
Black hat white shoes and I'm red all over
She's got a big mailbox that she puts out front
Garbage in, garbage out, she's getting what she wants

Who's jealous who's jealous who's jealous who's jealous of who?
If I get busy then I couldn't care less what you do
But when I'm by myself I think of nothing else
Than if a boy just might be getting through and touching you

Spike heels make a hole in a life boat
Drifting away when I'm talking and laughing as we float
I hear a whistle, that's how I know she's home
Lipstick, eyelash, broke mirror, broken home

Force fed, forced meds 'till I drop dead
You can't defeat her, when you meet her
you'll get what I said
The Lord knows there's a method to her madness
But the Lord's joke is a boat in a sea of sadness

She doesn't know but when she's gone
I sit and drink her perfume
I'm sure she's drinkin too,
But why, where and what for and who?
And I'm solo rowing
On one side of the boat
Looking up, throwing up, a life saver down my throat

Who's jealous who's jealous who's jealous who's jealous of who? (x3)